Feeling the urge today to talk about forgiveness
The dictionary defines Forgiveness as being the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well. But what does this really mean? It a simple concept but like most things not always so easy to put into practice. Many people have been victims of real traumas,betrayals,unspeakable crimes and wars of others creation.As a global society many nations if not all have experienced persecution and even genocide.Trueley horrific acts at the hands of others. Some of us have experienced abuse physical,sexual,mental and or emotional,surely all of us have experienced betrayal or disappointment on some level. In these times we feel intense emotion ,fear,anger and resentment,we are suffering because we have been victimized and that is very natural to feel that way. So how can we forgive such deep core wounds that shape us and rock us to our cores? Choice..It comes to free will choice.There are 2 ways we can go . We can identify that we have been victimized and work through it to the otherside where forgiveness lives or we can identify as "victims" and get into a dark state of mind and close our hearts.We often do this as a means of protection. We internalize and feed the intense hostility hurt,anger and resentments until it consumes us..everyone should feel sorry for us because we experienced trauma and we are the victims and life owes us for the gross miscarriage of injustice. In this state of being..living as a "victim " we are unable to forgive and in some cases may even be extending that to ourselves..victims of abuse and betrayal often carry shame around those wounds.Sometimes not even being able to extend forgiveness to themselves and creating wounds around self worth ..such as .If i was more or less blank this wouldn't have happened to me.We say life is unfair,all bad things happen to us ect..this is a dark wound that can run very ,very deep.This fragments our spirit and can have long term damaging effects to us, and those we interact with, It opens us up to unhealthy patterning such as depression,anxiety,crippling fears and in more extreme cases becoming abusers ,addictions and self destruction,violent acts or suicide. As an alternative we have the free will to say .I have been "victimized" this thing happened and it was not a good experience.We can still feel anger,resentment,deep hurt and betrayal,sadness ect.In fact we need to acknowledge those emotions and we need to feel them as part of the healing process.I have witnessed some spiritual teachers who say we must just forgive and forget and thats it its done ect.I strongly disagree and feel we often need support through the process. Never believe no one will help..someone will.reach out.Please. I feel strongly though that healing is a process.I feel we need to acknowledge how we are feeling around these situations and that its ok to feel them but equally it is important to recognize that we feel them,then process them and move towards forgiveness.We forgive not because the person/people or groups who hurt us are sorry or remorseful as often times we may experience they are not. We forgive for our own healing and expansion,we forgive to heal our own dark wounds and transmute them into light. These emotions are very dense and heavy and do not serve us.They can slowly destroy us like acid eating away from our insides if we allow it or in the least preventing us from moving forward and reaching the potential of who we really are. When we acknowledge and feel and process those emotions we are able to transmute that darkness,find peace and reclaim the power that was lost ,that we gave away to stay safe or that was stolen from us. We then at some point become open to sharing and find we can tell our stories without shame and emotion attached to them.We are in the seat of the observer or witness.We understand that it was not ideal,We know we are in know way at fault but are not victims of circumstance.We heal ourselves and we ultimately feel compelled to lead the way for others to heal also. We have the skill and the know how,we put it into practice and it worked. We have mastered at least one level of that lesson and we have found peace.By releasing our core wounds and healing ourselves from within we open space for more light.In doing so we have released the darkness and transmuted it into light,in this way we can take these lessons and use them to educate and create something beautiful and positive out of the wound now transformed. This is a skill we must become aware of and try to utilize and it is of the upmost importance in our world.Much of the worlds darkness is coming to the light. It seems so shocking but it has always been there..lurking in the shadows. People weren't looking or acknowledging so it was allowed to continue and grow momentum but now..Well,I liken it to a pond.When the water is calm we only see the clear mirror surface but when we agitate the water the stuff thats on the bottom rises up and we see the muck and debris that was hidden.So as the darkness of the world is revealed more and more,remember it has always been there.We surely need to recognize and acknowledge it,we need to know that there are those who have been victimized,perhaps you are one of them..then we need to work towards the healing process. Not focusing on the darkness itself and feeding it ,ultimately giving it more power.We instead shift our focus to healing and forgiveness so we take the power back where it belongs,within ourselves then channel it towards the greater good.Loving and supporting and standing together. It is a process and will take time.The deeper the wound the more time and it will be different for everyone.I suggest support.Acknowledge it ,allow the feelings to come and get support to work through all the emotions in as healthy a manner as possible,journal,use mantras,pray and or meditate,dance,do art anything to help process it. in whatever way works for you.You are not alone. Once we have chosen the path of forgiveness we get to keep choosing it everytime we feel the emotions that are triggered by outside forces and experience..every single time we choose to forgive it gets easier,we are able to hold that vibration more and more until one day we have healed and it no longer owns us. In some cases completely as we reach a level of mastery in forgiveness. <3 It is not easy and takes a great deal of mindfulness, it takes awareness of self and we must keep choosing it but ultimately the power to forgive and heal is within each of us. I have experienced great betrayals,I have had trauma and dark wounds,I have lived in a place where I did not forgive myself ..I know through hard earned wisdoms that this is the way to forgiveness and that when we choose it we heal and find peace.I have walked this road and now I am leading others along this process. Sometimes we may also find we do not want to forgive..we are not ready.Others won't tell you this perhaps but I will..it's ok.Sometimes a wound is deep and we need time.This is different for everyone.I believe it is important to acknowledge that too if that is how you feel but do it with awareness.Ask yourself why? Why can't I forgive?What am I getting from this? When you are ready to forgive you can begin but don't fool yourself into believing it serves you ..it does not.Still sometimes we need time to feel into and process it before we are ready... forgiveness does not mean we condone what was done or think its okor that we don't care,it does not mean that we never talk about it or that we pretend it never happened it means we have healed from within the emotion and hurt the act caused us,we found peace and understanding from a higher perspective of spirit and once we have healed ourselves from within we are then able to extend that outwards..Forgiveness also does not mean reconciliation Sometimes we don't get that or we don't get it right away but if we heal those parts of ourselves forgive truely from the heart we open the door for reconciliation.we set the standard for others to follow and the more of us who heal and forgive and help one another the more we open the way for peace <3 Blessings and love to all and for those needing support feel free to be in touch <3
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AuthorPaola Anderson Categories |