Feeling the urge today to talk about forgiveness
The dictionary defines Forgiveness as being the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well. But what does this really mean? It a simple concept but like most things not always so easy to put into practice. Many people have been victims of real traumas,betrayals,unspeakable crimes and wars of others creation.As a global society many nations if not all have experienced persecution and even genocide.Trueley horrific acts at the hands of others. Some of us have experienced abuse physical,sexual,mental and or emotional,surely all of us have experienced betrayal or disappointment on some level. In these times we feel intense emotion ,fear,anger and resentment,we are suffering because we have been victimized and that is very natural to feel that way. So how can we forgive such deep core wounds that shape us and rock us to our cores? Choice..It comes to free will choice.There are 2 ways we can go . We can identify that we have been victimized and work through it to the otherside where forgiveness lives or we can identify as "victims" and get into a dark state of mind and close our hearts.We often do this as a means of protection. We internalize and feed the intense hostility hurt,anger and resentments until it consumes us..everyone should feel sorry for us because we experienced trauma and we are the victims and life owes us for the gross miscarriage of injustice. In this state of being..living as a "victim " we are unable to forgive and in some cases may even be extending that to ourselves..victims of abuse and betrayal often carry shame around those wounds.Sometimes not even being able to extend forgiveness to themselves and creating wounds around self worth ..such as .If i was more or less blank this wouldn't have happened to me.We say life is unfair,all bad things happen to us ect..this is a dark wound that can run very ,very deep.This fragments our spirit and can have long term damaging effects to us, and those we interact with, It opens us up to unhealthy patterning such as depression,anxiety,crippling fears and in more extreme cases becoming abusers ,addictions and self destruction,violent acts or suicide. As an alternative we have the free will to say .I have been "victimized" this thing happened and it was not a good experience.We can still feel anger,resentment,deep hurt and betrayal,sadness ect.In fact we need to acknowledge those emotions and we need to feel them as part of the healing process.I have witnessed some spiritual teachers who say we must just forgive and forget and thats it its done ect.I strongly disagree and feel we often need support through the process. Never believe no one will help..someone will.reach out.Please. I feel strongly though that healing is a process.I feel we need to acknowledge how we are feeling around these situations and that its ok to feel them but equally it is important to recognize that we feel them,then process them and move towards forgiveness.We forgive not because the person/people or groups who hurt us are sorry or remorseful as often times we may experience they are not. We forgive for our own healing and expansion,we forgive to heal our own dark wounds and transmute them into light. These emotions are very dense and heavy and do not serve us.They can slowly destroy us like acid eating away from our insides if we allow it or in the least preventing us from moving forward and reaching the potential of who we really are. When we acknowledge and feel and process those emotions we are able to transmute that darkness,find peace and reclaim the power that was lost ,that we gave away to stay safe or that was stolen from us. We then at some point become open to sharing and find we can tell our stories without shame and emotion attached to them.We are in the seat of the observer or witness.We understand that it was not ideal,We know we are in know way at fault but are not victims of circumstance.We heal ourselves and we ultimately feel compelled to lead the way for others to heal also. We have the skill and the know how,we put it into practice and it worked. We have mastered at least one level of that lesson and we have found peace.By releasing our core wounds and healing ourselves from within we open space for more light.In doing so we have released the darkness and transmuted it into light,in this way we can take these lessons and use them to educate and create something beautiful and positive out of the wound now transformed. This is a skill we must become aware of and try to utilize and it is of the upmost importance in our world.Much of the worlds darkness is coming to the light. It seems so shocking but it has always been there..lurking in the shadows. People weren't looking or acknowledging so it was allowed to continue and grow momentum but now..Well,I liken it to a pond.When the water is calm we only see the clear mirror surface but when we agitate the water the stuff thats on the bottom rises up and we see the muck and debris that was hidden.So as the darkness of the world is revealed more and more,remember it has always been there.We surely need to recognize and acknowledge it,we need to know that there are those who have been victimized,perhaps you are one of them..then we need to work towards the healing process. Not focusing on the darkness itself and feeding it ,ultimately giving it more power.We instead shift our focus to healing and forgiveness so we take the power back where it belongs,within ourselves then channel it towards the greater good.Loving and supporting and standing together. It is a process and will take time.The deeper the wound the more time and it will be different for everyone.I suggest support.Acknowledge it ,allow the feelings to come and get support to work through all the emotions in as healthy a manner as possible,journal,use mantras,pray and or meditate,dance,do art anything to help process it. in whatever way works for you.You are not alone. Once we have chosen the path of forgiveness we get to keep choosing it everytime we feel the emotions that are triggered by outside forces and experience..every single time we choose to forgive it gets easier,we are able to hold that vibration more and more until one day we have healed and it no longer owns us. In some cases completely as we reach a level of mastery in forgiveness. <3 It is not easy and takes a great deal of mindfulness, it takes awareness of self and we must keep choosing it but ultimately the power to forgive and heal is within each of us. I have experienced great betrayals,I have had trauma and dark wounds,I have lived in a place where I did not forgive myself ..I know through hard earned wisdoms that this is the way to forgiveness and that when we choose it we heal and find peace.I have walked this road and now I am leading others along this process. Sometimes we may also find we do not want to forgive..we are not ready.Others won't tell you this perhaps but I will..it's ok.Sometimes a wound is deep and we need time.This is different for everyone.I believe it is important to acknowledge that too if that is how you feel but do it with awareness.Ask yourself why? Why can't I forgive?What am I getting from this? When you are ready to forgive you can begin but don't fool yourself into believing it serves you ..it does not.Still sometimes we need time to feel into and process it before we are ready... forgiveness does not mean we condone what was done or think its okor that we don't care,it does not mean that we never talk about it or that we pretend it never happened it means we have healed from within the emotion and hurt the act caused us,we found peace and understanding from a higher perspective of spirit and once we have healed ourselves from within we are then able to extend that outwards..Forgiveness also does not mean reconciliation Sometimes we don't get that or we don't get it right away but if we heal those parts of ourselves forgive truely from the heart we open the door for reconciliation.we set the standard for others to follow and the more of us who heal and forgive and help one another the more we open the way for peace <3 Blessings and love to all and for those needing support feel free to be in touch <3
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Today i was very compelled to talk about giving and receiving.
I was a great giver I gave very freely of my time,money and resources. I was that person that never said no to anyone even when I wanted to. I thought that was a good thing. Like many others I was raised to believe that it is far better to give than receive. I believed that if I was receiving too much I was somehow selfish and that I was taking from others.Others who needed it or deserved it more than me. So I tried to always be so generous and never to take unless I absolutely needed whatever it was.I gave and gave even until I had nothing left for myself.Sound familiar? I have since learned that this is a false belief. It is incorrect and therefore out of balance. Although it is important and wonderful to be generous it is equally important to receive.It is great that I was and am independant and I am very capable of caring for myself and helping so many also but I had to learn to get good at receiving.We need to give and receive in equal measure to be in balance and in harmony with the laws of the universe. I don't like the vibration of the word "Take" I feel it does have a different quality than receive.To take really does sound like we are robbing someone else or something else and yet receive feels like we are being gifted something.Words matter and so does how we utilize them.Words have a power in them.They have a vibration like all things.Especially the words we use when speaking to ourselves as they imbed in our subconscious mind.When we are on "Auto pilot" these are the words that are giving us direction though we are unaware of it.We can re train our subconscious however by becoming more aware of the words we are using and self correct until it becomes our first nature.Essentially re-programming ourselves away from the false beliefs we once carried.I have been given many opportunities, particularly in the past couple years to practice receiving.Had I not opened to it I really believe that things would not have gone so smoothly for me as I face many challenges. I was always proud of being able to do it all myself and perhaps I struggled but my Ego self felt so accomplished to be able to do it all with no ones help.Partly also because it was safe as I also had the false beliefs that I was not supported by the universe and that people were unreliable.This all based on past experiences.They may have been true at that time but are not true today. The universe often sets up situations for us to help us evolve as is our souls plan and we all have our lessons.This was one of mine and so it was I was placed in situations where I was asking for help and had to open myself up to receiving and I learned many things.First I learned I loved to receive.I learned that receiving also created even more opportunity to give but in a healthy and balanced way and most importantly I discovered the truth that When we are not open to receiving we are actually robbing another of the opportunity to give. This truth hit me hard.I realized that so many times I had been closed to this because my Ego told me I was capable and I don't NEED help.While that may even be true and I may well be fully able to do whatever it is alone this is not what is meant for us. I was still living in separation although I was not aware.I believed in oneness and that we are all connected but in this way I was living in Ego separation...I was not connecting to the outside world as much as I could and I was not open to having others help me.I was in short not open to receiving. We hear a lot these days about "manifesting" and laws of attraction..This also ties in to giving and receiving.If we are trying to manifest our dreams or even an object,money,vacations ..whatever it is we must be equally open to both.I feel many people I meet are like me in that they are learning to be more open to receive rather than needing to give.Though there are those of us in humanity who have lessons around learning to be much more generous also.In my experience people also often feel this laws of attraction thing is all about money.I am always hearing about manifesting money or stuff and although we can do that ,this is not what it's all about and is also likely the reason many do not succeed in it. The universal laws are very real but in order for them to work we must first create balance within ourselves.We must give and receive in equal measure and receive from a place of authentic gratitude.The same space we give from.When we do this miracles really do happen. We are able to give in a generous and authentic way that is led from the heart and when we give we are also receiving..we tend to forget that part.However its important to recognize, as well as that when we give to others we give more than whatever it is we think we are giving..we are giving joy and gratitude ,we are giving kindness and compassion and so much more.Even if it's a small gesture like a smile or a cup of coffee it makes a huge difference. I know from experience that we are also in fact receiving in that moment..we see those we are giving to, light up and sparkle and I love that..When something I do can make someone feel so good it's what it is all about. So seeing that I need to offer someone else the opportunity to bring the sparkle out in me was a huge eye opener.I realized that I needed to be more generous to myself in allowing others the opportunity to give.In doing so I am now giving and receiving in more equal measure, in greater alignment in my life and in accordance with the universal laws.So while I can do it it is actually so much easier to be open to this equal exchange.Life is smoother,easier and I am feeling in greater flow. Manifesting anything is no different.We must give to receive and receive to give in a balanced way.Everything is energy and vibration and this is really just an exchange of energy. If we give too much and are not open to receiving we deplete ourselves and fall out of balance and if we are always receiving and never give we are living the other extreme and become hoarders and energies become stagnant. Energy must move to be in flow and in equal exchange to be healthy.This applies to all things.Think of a figure 8 or the "infinity symbol" Which is really the same thing,energy can flow in this unbroken pattern without stopping.It just moves perfectly balanced and in flow. I invite you all to consciously become aware of when and where you are blocking yourself in giving.Why? is it fear that holds you back? Are you afraid the Universe will not support you? Notice when you are hesitant to receive.Maybe you can do it but if you let someone else help you create opportunity for them to give and you will also receive in that moment. I would love to hear if anyone tries this exchange in a more conscious way and what experiences you have. I know for me it has made all the difference and then some. The world is changing and whether we like it or not we are all connected.I believe the universe is calling us all out right here right now to step into who we really are and part of that is being able to live in a more mindful way. We are meant to be in service to each other for the greater good of all.So give and receive mindfully be grateful and live from the heart Happy Spring everyone! I have had some pretty interesting experiences this past couple weeks and many of them have brought me back to what I am feeling as the energetic theme for this particular year.At least for myself which is "Coming into Balance" I had a very crazy couple weeks energetically in which I was releasing a whole lot of energy and downloading a whole lot of of new energy...I found myself just buzzing on Monday like a child hopped up on too much sugar. ..as I had yet to integrate and ground myself back . As a result I was exhibiting a dominant yang state.I was very loud,talkative and outward flowing.. I found I was unable to hold back even though I felt some awareness of it even as it was happening and although I do feel more talkative in intimate situations with people I feel more comfortable with anyway,I found it to be almost dominating.And as a general rule I favor the quiet,softer inward energies of yin and often prefer to be alone or with Animals and nature. So this really caught my attention. I later reflected on that as it it a bit unusual for me to be SO yang to that extreme.Although we all carry both yin and yang and can exhibit qualities of both at any given time. One tends to be more dominant in us than the other and we can sometimes swing too far in one direction depending on what is happening around us.Although it is not a bad thing to feel elated and excited around life experiences and to share them,especially since chances are others can also take wisdom and lessons from those experiences.I feel like I was being called to look at balance or lack there of... Horses are masters of finding the balance between the hard/Dominant and outward flowing energy of yang and the softer more quiet nurturing energy of yin.Horses live in a predominately yin state and yet can seamlessly move between yin into a more dominating outward energy of yang at any given time as they feel the call to do so. Horse medicine teaches us to turn inwards and connect with our intuitive natures and connect with ourselves the earth our bodies and the environment around us and in relation to the environment around us.They also teach us to take "inspired action" To get a little more assertive if we need to and can express that to get us to step up into our power and take on more of a leadership role. Also to be in either state with "Mindfulness" Although I have horses that exhibit either quality none express it better than the 2 Morgans below.. Spirit is an extreme yang..He even has the representation in his light coloring.He is extroverted ,kind of in your face ,upwards and outward expression of energy.He is friendly and always wants to be the dominant part of whatever is going on around him. Very masculine and empowering.Playful and exuberant . Dandy in his color and personality represents strongly Yin energy .He is introspective,quiet and soft,gentle and nurturing..serious and methodical.He is often very passive in nature and hangs back from a crowd.Sometimes prefer to be on his own. I also had a picture come in of Dandy and he wanted to remind us to be like "A plant turning to the sun"..and I also got the word "Absorption." that feels like we need to absorb the yang and intargrate it into the yin.Bringing that balance in our energy and our lives..so like the plant converting that energy from the sun to food and bringing it down and grounding it into the roots. One cannot exist without the other and though we do not want to create a swing too far in either direction we don't want total equilibrium either as this can create a place of stasis.Energy is meant to flow between these 2 states. Imbalance can present itself in a number of ways as we can see on both a personal level as well as on a global scale. I find it interesting that this theme is so strong at this time considering all that is going on and I am grateful that I now have enough awareness to first recognize this lesson and to bring this all outwards for others as well as inwards to ground myself. With that I invite you all to create awareness in yourselves to look at where you may be too yin..holding back or hiding within,not using your gifts or too yang..too outwards and dominating in your energy.Maybe trying to control too much.Perfectionism type energy Lets all take this Wisdom from Dandy and Spirit.The wisdom of becoming both soft and strong with a greater balance of those energies and as Dandy is showing us, to integrate that lesson by getting grounded in that wisdom. <3 *Thank you for reading my first post and I sincerely hope this message and all future ones will help all who read them.<3 My philosophy in Riding the Spiral path is focused on "Self Mastery" or "Know Thyself" and on Connection in all it's forms.<3 Thanks for being a part of this journey :) |
AuthorPaola Anderson Categories |