My life has certainly Not been easy up to this point.Literally since the day I was born I had many challenges to overcome.I was in and out of hospitals as a child ,suffered clinical depression and anxiety as a teen and did not fit into main stream society's box.In more recent years had Thyroid cancer and faced and continue to face challenges in relation to that..After my son was born 15 years ago I suffered incredible and unexplained vertigo and other symptoms as well as the fact I can no longer regulate my body temperature and weight.I had never struggled with my body until then always being so thin but now despite working out regularly and eating pretty well I find challenges.I rely on synthetic hormones to run my body without which I would not live.It has been a major adjustment and I had to work through all of my self worth issues. It was not easy but I refuse to be a victim. 2 years ago My partner was in a major crash.Someone rear ended him and he almost lost his life and all that came with that was incredible and terrible all at once.I had family do some pretty horrible things during that time and suffered major betrayals as well as the other stresses that come along with that. I did also have some incredible supports which I am still so very grateful for. I really learned during that time to be very ,very present as I could only go one moment at a time. As he was recovering we lost 2 of our dogs.One to old age one to a car we think and then in November 2017 I lost my heart horse in a tragic pasture accident.This finally brought me to my knees and I literally felt like my heart had torn in half.I was in more emotional pain than I had ever felt in my life.I had finally broken.I was angry at the universe,God and everything else.I mourned him for a very long time and still feel moments of sadness. Just before that happened I made my son a Captain America shield for fun because I always wanted to try to make one.Then I made a Wonder Woman Shield for myself. After Artistry died I channeled my grief into creative projects to keep my mind off his death and all else I have passed through.It led to the creation of the entire Wonder Woman suit. Somewhere along the way of the past 3 years I sort of adopted her..She became my personal power symbol/Archetype I have others as well who help me draw strength but for some reason this is what came forward at that time.So I spent months building each piece one by one.Every time I finished one I felt a little stronger.it was like I was collecting my power a little at a time and gathering it to me.When it was done I tried it on and I quickly realized why Kids love dress up and why cosplayers love what they do. I felt powerful..For the first time It may seem silly just to dress up..It may seem like you are faking or trying to be someone else to someone on the outside but really it is more like wearing your power ,Like stepping back into it.It is more like shapeshifting and drawing all your strength back into yourself and feeling it. I decided to try a photo shoot with the horses and it was a very powerful experience.I felt like a warrior. It felt very natural and real and I will draw on these images in times when I feel weak.I will draw on that feeling of what it feels like to "be" Wonder Woman I feel that this is such a great way for us to empower ourselves.All of us face some kind of challenges.They may be similar or very different but we all have some.We don't get to choose what happens to us but we get to choose how we respond or react to it.I choose to respond..rather than react to life. I choose to empower myself. I spent some of my younger years feeling sorry for myself because I faced so much,I felt small and worthless and did not see any value in myself.I found comfort with animals and nature which allowed me connections that helped me to grow and feel strong more and more as each day passes.Until finally I have reached a place of love and acceptance for myself I never felt was possible. Horses and other animals taught me how to connect to spirit ,the earth and to myself. .Holding up the mirror so I could see myself more clearly. I realized I had choice and I found drawing on powerful Archetypes made me feel my own power and helped me to overcome my own darkness. Although most people will not build and wear a super hero suit..though some may ( I recommend it ) We can all draw from powerful symbols and Archetypes to help us find inner strength.We can work from within and empower ourselves. When I feel weakness,fear or doubt I can call upon My own Archetypes and wear them energetically for a while.Giving myself all the strength I need until I can stand on my own again.Shapeshifting into a powerful warrior.I can do this in my mind calling them in when I need them and you can do this too. What makes you feel powerful? What gives you strength in darkest times? Don't focus on the darkness.If you do that you give your power away, you feed it and make it stronger and that gives it power over you.Sometimes our power seems to be stolen but we can call it back.Focus on what makes you feel strong and call all of your power back.In this way we can transmute it Darkness into light. Use your greatest challenges as fuel to find your greatest strengths. Find your own personal power symbol . Whatever is unique to you and slip it on as needed.Wear your own power like armor,remember you can get through anything and that you can empower yourself.If you have low self worth the world will not be quick to raise your price.This is an inside job.I am usually self conscious to post photos and don't really like being in pictures and am usually taking them but I am practicing courage.I have recently realized I am very brave so I will be brave enough now to share my stories and share of myself.If I help one person to find strength and courage in doing so then that is enough and even if no one reads this it's ok because just by sharing I am practicing courage and empowering myself even more .
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorPaola Anderson Categories |